Me, Myself & I

While I was eating dinner this past week like a true couch potato - by myself and in front of the television - I watched a show called Aperitivo. In it, there was a "feel good" expert who talked about methods of getting to know the real you and learning how to feel good about yourself. She had published a book, full of small notes, poems and photos that meant something to her, and by doing this she discovered who she was. She had also made a personal alphabet, with words that mean something to her.

This got me thinking, and I decided that I wanted to put together such an alphabet for myself. Initially I was going to keep this personal and just write it in my journal, but since it's been a few days since my last post I thought I'd show it to you guys too. I'm at a stage that I think it's near completion. A few words have been taken out because I don't want the world to see them. In the last weeks I've found out that more people than I thought read this blog, and there are a few people in that group that could and would use whatever I write against me. This blog will never see the final version for that same reason.

The alphabet probably looks quite random, but I've actually been adding and deleting words since Wednesday. To explain; the words are either
a) what I am
b) what I want to be or try to be
c) what plays (or has played) a big role in my life.

A: Ambitious / Apolitical / Assertive
B: Beauty / Bilingual / Blogging :)
C: Concert / Confident / Careful
D: Dignity / Dutch
E: Easygoing / Embarrassment / Emotion
F: Friends / Family / Fear / Fidget
G: Gifted / Gentle
H: Humor / Hopeless Romantic / Health / Humble
I: Immature / Introvert
J: Juvenile / Jubilance
K: Klutz
L: Letting go / Luck
M: Music / MUN / Maturity
N: Naïve / Nonchalant
O: Obnoxious / Open-minded / Obedient / Optimism
P: Perfection / Pride / Positive / Punctual / Peace / Personality
Q: Quiet / Quaint
R: Responsible / Reliability
S: Sarcasm / Silly
T: Timid / Tolerance
U: Under-estimated / Unique
V: Vivid / Volleyball
W: Wassenaar / Welfare / Wise
X: Xenophobia
Y: Youth
Z: Zealous

It'd be nice to see more alphabets. I would just hate it if whoever constructs one, doesn't have a 75% same alphabet as I do. Although it may not seem like it, I've spent quite some hours on this, and like plagiarism, it sucks to see someone taking the easy way out and copying your words for the difficult letters. I do however totally understand that the bloggers that read this are very similar to myself, so obviously I do expect to have a few of the same words.

I feel like writing a deep post. A post about where I am in life. This past week, with all the free time I had and my iPod being dead all week, I've been doing more thinking than ever. I've looked at the years of my life from when I was 10, and I've "examined" each year. I've tried to remember how I felt about myself, what other thought of me, what I was like. It's been interesting, and by doing this I've learnt quite a lot. I've noticed how much I've changed, for example, in my years at the Rijnlands and in particular this past year. I'm going to start writing this post in my journal, and we'll see where it takes me. I may or may not post it.

Anywho. Yayyy volleyball match tomorrow :). Last week Friday went great so I'm hoping to have a good day tomorrow too.

But. I'm cold. And I feel like going out. I'm slightly bored. I think I'll just go to bed early. Get a good night's rest.

G'night, guys. x.