So, I present to you my goal that I want to have achieved by around Christmas: I want to have roughly figured which direction I want to go after high school. I want to know what my educational strengths and weaknesses are, so that I can spend my time between January and the end of the school year looking around a bit at different universities. I don't want to have to stress throughout my whole senior year because I still haven't found a university. After what I've seen my brother go through - last minute university visits - I really want to make sure I make the right choices.
To be honest, I'm really scared that I'm going to finish university and turn out to be one big screw-up. I think that's probably why I'm making this choice. I'm terrified that I'll end up studying something simply for the sake of studying, or just because I'm smart enough to go to uni, and that in the long term I won't enjoy myself. Which in turn will lead to me not working to my full capacity, get (below) average grades and then I'll have finished university and not find a job that I like. From there on everything will go downhill, and I'll be a screw-up. And all my hard work in high school will have gone to waste because I hadn't looked into universities and I just chose one at random.
I know this isn't very realistic, and I don't think it'll happen either. It's just another irrational fear of mine, and it's a fear that'll stay unless I work on it.
I didn't intend for this to be such a serious post, but hey, here's what I ended up writing.
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On a different note, there's a Valentine's post coming up, prepare yourselves for a "Let's Bash Hallmark & Other Valentine's Day Promoting Companies" post.
I seem to have also spent quite a lot of my time that last few days reading old MSN conversations. (That's right, I have no life. I save MSN conversations and actually read them. *Turtle gasp.*) I might decide to post the most interesting ones up soon, obviously I'll change names etc so that nobody knows who said what, so you guys can never get mad at me for posting embarassing info about you on the internet.
To give you a small taster, I just had one of the most immature conversations ever with *anonymous*. "No you!" "no you!" "no you!" "no you!" is pretty much all that was said, and it went back and forth like this for quite some time. This afternoon I was also called a maniac and a stalker in a conversation that seemed to be about avatars.
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As some of you may have noticed, my schizophrenia has grown (ahh it's taking over my body!) and I have two other personalities.
The first is the sadistic leader of MMLG that enjoys nuking mainly SFO, but when the occasion rises I'll also nuke EO and NMS.
Some pictures I made in my *prehistoric yet highly entertaining* MS Paint (In order not to reveal too much information about who the leader of SFO is, I decided to put in a thick black line to cover up the eyes.):
^ It's flying because 'it' has so much magical powers. But, isn't it sad how much this leader enjoys being nuked by me? "LyK, OMGZZZ, MMGL iZ N0OKinG Uz!"
"nD LYk, teH XploZioN waS DIs BIG!!!one!!exclamationmark!!!11!moreexclamationmarks1"
The second new personality is a rather kinky character, who likes whipped cream and stroopwafels. This one only dives up on the internet, in my tagboard/chatbox and on other people's blogs. No worries, you'll never bump into me in real life while this character is in control of my brain.
I guess all we can say is that let's hope neither of these personalities dive up during an MUN conference.
*Edit* Ok, whatever, does it really matter whether I say schizophrenia or something else? I know schizophrenia is not actually having split personalities, but if I'd started saying dissociative identity disorder (which is what "split personality" is really called), everybody would either go "wtf" or "stop trying to sound smart". Seriously guys, I've watched enough Dr. Phil to know my facts. Schizophrenia is just easier and faster to type, and in popular culture most people don't know the difference between schizophrenia and DID. I was just trying to make life easier for you guys, no need to call me pathetic for that. *end of edit*
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During the writing of this (and making the pictures), I had a conversation with somebody pretending to be somebody else. I'd love to bash this person and tell him/her that it wasn't funny at all, and that you need to be pretty pathetic to pretend you're someone else and then also start asking me if I want intercourse with you. That is just blatantly rude, disgusting and rather disturbing. I really do hope you're not who I think you are, because in that case, I don't think I'll ever look at you the same.
I just felt I should put that bit of text in here, because I think you guys should all know that there's a very rude person in my year/at school, that thinks it's funny to tell me how they were having intercourse while he was asked for LappTop and decided not to do it because "he couldn't think properly."
I hope I've ashamed the person enough, I might also decide to put up the conversation with edited names so you can all see what a dumb fuck this person was.
Damn, that was a sucky way to end a post.
28 comments:
onder wiens naam werd er gesproken? kan i know the names, want op 't moment ben ik meningen over veel klasgenoten aan het bij stellen.
I guess I have several personalities as well, they just don't really have names or are ever discussed.
O btw, I actually had whipped cream in my fridge the day we discussed the it. I laughed my as off when I found out.
I might develope an alter ego soon, just for the fun of it. My alter ego might have an imaginary pet as well, een uit zijn krachten gegroeid konijn ofzo.
over je school; 't komt allemaal wel goed. wat ging jij ook alweer worden? we zouden het op moeten schrijven en 30 jaar later checken. je eindigt in ieder geval dan ik zou doen ;) :P (the whole hobo stroy..)
wE lYk 2 StaTe, tAt wE lYk tEh nOOkIng, cuZZ wE cAn nOOk U bAck NoW.
And yes, we do have so much magical powers, just like the leader of MMLG. As almost equals this is a "zware", but interesting war.
Lovez,
SFO (no, not Stupid Fuck Obvious. we wish to keep the real betekenis secret, for national security reasons)
Ik geef de namen wel door via MSN voordat ik mensen op het internet ga beschuldigen. It could get ugly if I end up accusing the wrong people..
Ik werd de serial killer die in het witte gebouw in Amsterdam eindigt. Fijn, dat is pas echt een screw-up.
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Haha yes we have magical powers too. We're almighty.
Lol @ the national security reasons.
You know what we should do at DeMUN if we run out of resos... we should let every delegate make up their own country. I find it to be highly amusing to be honest. Pathetic, and rather immature, but it's fun.
I'd suddenly become a delegat instead of chair (nienie might chair dan) I'll take te floor and start accusing the nation of MMLG of the nastiest things, then declare war on it once again and start noooking it!
Then I'd stop chairing (or helping lost delegates) too, take the floor and say you shouldn't nuke us, we're too powerful to handle. Let's cooperate and start nuking NMS.
Nienie will go wtf, and start explaining to delegates that this doesn't usually happen at conferences while we pretend to have atomic bombs in our hands and throw them at her.
Then when the leader of NMS has been killed or has committed suicide, we'll stab you in the back and say "HAHA NOW YOU DONT HAVE ANY ALLIES ANYMORE" and start nuking SFO.
Or you could yield the floor to someone who does not have goo voor brains and have him chair and call all of you to order, rather than have all those little delegates freak out and pee all over to floor in agony...
-B.
haha, 't zou best grappig zijn. denk however dat de jong er niet geheel blij mee zou zijn. maar we should indeed join forces and start nuking NMS!
I'd start nuking the nation of BMG!
yeah, yea, you would start nuking my great nation, if only because you forgot about the fact it harbours such nice and incredible people, all of whom are without trousers (LOL =P)
Yep we're nuking you.
Without trousers? Why? I think the fact that you're all half naked is a good enough reason to nuke you.
My people have zekerheid AND no trousers! they rule!
Having no trousers would imply they have ´zekerheid´, SFO, with remarks as such you will always stay in our shadow. Then of course BMG has no objection to you being in our shadow, as long as you refrain from nuking us...or send trousers, which, luckily, you said you didn´t have anyway
Seriously guys, no trousers is pretty gross. I was about to make a worst case scenario type thing in Paint, but then I realised that I really don't want to google certain body parts just for a picture.
Why would being half naked imply they have "zekerheid"? Because in that case, I'd like to meet one of your people. I thought Wassenaar people had enough zekerheid/arrogance with pants on, I wonder what your people are like.
Anyway, my people are great; I mean, I have a serial killer, a psychopath, a Dr. Phil, a Michael Jackson, a cynic, a wemo and emo, a pessimist and of course the 15 year old on XTC. And that's the All-in-One leader. There are of course, so many more people but they're not worth mentioning.
Nah, the trouserless nation will over rule your full of pants nation! We would like to be equel rahter than in shadows. We would love making a Union Of Trouserless Nations!
What, so we can have Model United Trouserless Nations?
Over half your people aren´t even worth mentioning, and you expect me to take your serious...
I could mention them, but they're pretty much the same as your people except mine do wear trousers. The rest of my people don't have special powers like I do. No special powers = not special mention.
the dress code next mun conference ...=P XD
DeMUN ECOSOC: No serious debates, no trousers. Full of nuking, and highly immature chairs.
Best committee ever.
yes, we are goin to pwn DeMUN!
yeayea...sound like fun <>
-B.
Was that sarcasm?
DeMUN is going to pwn MUNA.
oooh die zit!
DeMUN is so not doing to pwn MUNA, that's one thing that's for sure, nothing can pwn MUNA (not until the next session, when it wil be pwning itself)
And no, it was not sarcasm
-B.
We so are.
Well, if it's up to ECOSOC, DeMUN will pwn.
yeah, ECOSOC is gonna rule at demun this year.
DeMUN might pwn, but it won't pwn MUNA
-B.
It'll pwn MUNA. The leader's magical powers sense it.
Unfortunately, though, the leader of the great nation of MMLG must now leave because we are going to practise nuking on a volleyball court. We shall pretend the balls are bombs and we will kill anybody that stands in our way to world domination (or dominition =P).
Say your last prayers fellow leaders for when we return we will have improved our nuking skills and we will be almighty.
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