Life & Death.

[No, this isn't a post about the meaning of life. Or some other philosophic subject. I'm saving that for some other time.]

Lack of posts was caused by my internet being down for 3 or 4 days. It's all fixed now though (:

My life since my last entry.
Tuesday. Boring day.
Three "free" periods. Bored myself to death and didn't get any homework done. Skipped volleyball practise because my parents had to go to school for parent/teacher evening.
Wednesday. Fun and boring day.
Left the house at 07:35 to catch the 07:58 train to Amsterdam because 4TTO was going to Shell. Skipping school and spending time with friends was fun (Lotte, my fellow Griek, I love you<3. haha.) but I don't really feel like I've learnt anything. In the end the trip was rather pointless (education-wise), I could have just read info from the internet and learned more than I did from interviewing an "expert." Skipped volleyball practise because I had to study for French and I was le tired when I got home.
Thursday. Good day.
Didn't get into trouble for not having my homework for any of my subjects. I was glad because there's a new rule that if you 1. don't have your books or, 2. don't have your homework or, 3. come in late, you have detention from 14:30-16:30. Did last minute French studying with someone who I though I hated, but we got along surprisingly well. Did go to volleyball practise for once. My dinner was a bag of Snack-A-Jacks because after practise I didn't feel like eating the leftover potatoes, but my mom said I should at least get some calories in my belly so yeah..
Friday. "Oh man."
Might not have been such a great idea to go to practise on Thursday, I was tired and my muscles were aching. Almost got caught not having my Bio homework.. she was checking everyone's homework, but the bell had already gone before she checked mine. So I just quickly showed her my notes - the ones she'd put up on the board - and she fell for it. Felt great to get away with it, especially when the guy sitting next to me did have to go to detention for not having it. I got home and the Jimmy Alter Promopakket had arrived -yay! 17 Kaiser Chief postcards, couple stickers, CD sampler and the inevitable hundred or so flyers. Oh, and two condoms O_o. Went to bed at 22:15 because of extreme fatigue.
Saturday. That's today.
Slept 11 hours. I had one of the strangest dreams ever. Here's whatever I can still remember.
- I only had three fingers on my right hand, and I cut them all off so that I only had short stubs left. Somebody asked me about it, and I said, "Don't worry. They'll grow back."
- I went to Amsterdam by train with Stephanie, in search of a fun bar (sounds like a mix of THIMUN and Shell?). We went into the only one we could find, where I found out I was being stalked. I got scared so we decided to sit at a table with Teoman, Konings and a fat dude. I told them I was scared of a stalker and then the fat dude said something like "Yeah I was looking for you last week" and then we made out. What the hell, I'd never do that. Quite teh nasty.
- Few drinks later a scary tall dude came in. He looked like a cross between Bubba from Forrest Gump and the inspector from An Inspector Calls (we're watching the movie in English). All of a sudden the MUNers and fat dude we're gone, along with all the other people in the bar, and only Stephanie and I were left. I got shot but survived. Stephanie disappeared the moment I got the bullet in me.
- Next thing I know we're in the middle of a city, looked like a parking lot or some other big open space. I got shot again.
- Next location was someone's house. I got shot again.
- I got shot again. This time in a mall or other building.
- I was back in the bar, with Stephanie, and we decided to call our parents because we were scared. (Why didn't we think of this earlier?) Only my parents answered the phone and they said they'd come pick us up ASAP.
- Within a few seconds I was in my room, but Stephanie was still in the bar. My dad was on his way to get her. I ran down the stairs, to my parents' room where my mom was calling with my dad about which bar Stephanie was in. As soon as my mom hung up I asked if I could sleep in their bed because I was so scared.
- Don't know what happened, or how it happened, or where it happened, but I got shot again.
In total I got shot between 5 and 10 times, and each time it was the same story. It was always that Bubba/Inspector guy. There was always someone standing near me, watching me. And the gun was always held on the right side of my chest, but the bullet went in diagonally so that each time it only just missed my heart by a few millimeters. And each time I survived and the wound was healed by the time I got the next bullet.
I don't know what this says about me, my future, or my past, all I can say is that I didn't like the dream. In the past I've already had enough dreams about my death - I've seen myself drown, burn, stabbed, kidnapped and strangled, and now shot numerous times. About a year ago I had a similar dream at least once a week. Last night's dream was probably the first 'death dream' since the summer.
I think the dream was a mix of things going on in my life.

• Wandering around looking for a bar -> THIMUN.
• Train to Amsterdam -> Shell.
• The stalker -> only Stephanie & Nienke will know what this means.
• Getting shot -> my constant fear of a painful death. I'm not scared of death itself, but I am scared of a painful (stabbed/shot), scary (kidnap with unhappy ending) or slow one (drowning).

As for the being tired, it seems like we're back in September/October when I was tired after every school day and also on weekends. I'm thinking the stress of everything is causing it.

And about the being able to get along with someone I thought I hated -WOW! I was surprised we didn't fight, argue or were arrogant to each other. It felt good to forget about the differences we have and just work together. In the end, all we both wanted was a good grade. I'm just hoping this promises something for the future, and that by the time I graduate I'll be able to get along with the whole class. So far, there's a big improvement since I came to the Rijnlands. Trier & Ypres have helped a lot.

I feel a "looking back on life" post coming up. I'll save it for later. I plan on doing that post I promised some time ago, where you guys gave me post ideas. To be honest, I completely forgot about it.

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